Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I Cried!!!!!!

Today was the day I have been waiting for since September. Today was my Cardiologist appointment for a routine Echo-cardiogram to determine if my EF (Ejection Fraction) increased from 50% to 55-60%. I laid on the table as I normally do to watch as the tech did his job. Watching my heart in 3D and 4D is very cool to me and most people have never experienced watching their heart beat and pump blood. I actually put that excitement level right after seeing a fetus heartbeat for the first time. As I viewed the monitor to watch every aspect of my heart do its job I did not get that "Yes" feeling. I had a feeling that it had not increased, but the news I received was even more shocking. When the tech was finished he left the room to give my doctor the results, and the words looks good did not leave his mouth. Instead, my doctor came back into the room and told me that some parts of my heart is only 40% and some 50% which puts me at 40-50%. Wow!!! In September I was at 50% across the board so this news was not what I wanted to hear. My plan for today was to go in and leave excited about having a heart that was functioning normal, but instead all I really heard was relapse. So of course this means that I have to continue taking these man mad drugs, and I am so eager to get off. As usual I ask questions, and wanted to know what could have set me back because I treat my body with much respect by eating  healthy and providing it with exercise. She told me that it is possible that the virus that I got last month could have affected me. That was the only time that I had abnormal symptoms like palpitations and a high resting heart rate. I left the room and scheduled my next appointment for July and the whole time I keep a smile on the outside. Her words replayed in my head over and over, and when I got in my truck I quickly went from smiling to having a face full of tears. Yes, I cried and no one will understand why unless they have experienced what I am experiencing. Attempts to stop the tears did not work, and I drove from Longwood to Sanford in tears, and the feeling of depression was starting to sink in. I AM A FIGHTER!!!!!!!! So although I am torn by todays news I will still continue to live a healthy lifestyle by eating foods that are healthy for my body, exercise, and smile. I AM A FIGHTER, I AM A FIGHTER, I AM A FIGHTER!!!!!!!!!!!!

"The first step in natural healing is responsibility. Natural healing is about taking control of your life and being responsible for everything that goes in and out of your body, mind and spirit."~Richard Schulze

"Look to your health; and if you have it, praise God, and value it next to a good conscience; for health is the second blessing that we mortals are capable of; a blessing that money cannot buy"~Izaak Walton


  1. Oh Dolicia... I'm so sorry girl...try not to worry that can only hinder and not help... this is a minor setback on the road to healing! I am frusterated for you that your EF went down, I hate that for you! Makes me question and wonder why... the only thing I'm sure of is that the Lord will provide!† Sometimes I just never want to get another Echo again, I just want to keep the results from the last one forever, but at least now if anything is going wrong they can catch it, they have the facts.... love ya ♥ sister!

  2. I am so sorry about the news. You know I love you and I here for you......

  3. Thank you ladies, and everyone else that has spoken to me regarding this post. I truly appreciate your kinds words, thoughts, and prayers. I am truly back on the road to recovery, and my main focus is getting there. Love you all!!!!